Contentment

It’s funny how much things can change and how fast. Just a year ago I was in a very bad place. I didn’t care to live anymore. I was getting over a breakup and life just seemed so dark and hopeless. I didn’t think I could get out of it. I had hit the lowest of lows and found myself contemplating suicide. The breakup sent me into a very hard and fast downward spiral. Somehow. Someway, I found a way to bounce back, just like everytime before. I thank the Universe and all the higher beings for helping me get through those times because there is no way I did that alone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m strong as hell but even I know I had help.

That brings me to the present. I moved to Colorado a little over a month ago. I didn’t have a plan in place and have been winging it. No expectations. No plans. Just do what feels right at the time. And you know what? It has been the best thing I have ever done. Making the decision and putting it into action has been the best best for me. I finally feel like I’m home. I finally feel like I belong. I am meeting some really cool people and have made amazing friends. I have found peace within and with my life. I am finally living my way. I have this sense of freedom which has given me a calmness I’ve never known before. I am doing more than I have ever done in Chicago. Everyday is a journey. I am being me. I am doing my thing, even though I don’t know what exactly that is, but I’m doing it. It’s ok to not know what it is because it’s anything and everything.

I have been having such a great time and enjoying life. I am going out and doing things alone, with friends, with my dog. It doesn’t matter who I’m with or without, although I have to say, I have some amazing people in my life who I really enjoy their company and love being around so it’s always nice to do things with them. I am doing things I never felt comfortable doing back in Chicago. I just got home from being downtown alone. It’s at night but I have no fear of being alone downtown. I have pretty damn good intuition so if I ever felt like I wasn’t safe, you know I would find a way to be safe. I am continuing to learn and grow. I am better than I have ever been and each day I get better. Everyday has brought me new experiences, learning, growing, freedom. I love being me and being alone with my dog. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t want a girlfriend at some point. Seems like the girls like me around here. For me, it’s a matter of taking my time, getting to know someone and letting things develop as they are meant to. Hell, I am so laid back and chill now that if it came along now, I think I’d be good with it. But, things will happen as they are meant to and I’m perfectly good with that. I am strong enough to know I don’t need someone but that doesn’t mean I don’t want someone special in my life, just maybe not right now, or maybe now. Who knows what will come my way in a few days, weeks, or months. I’m in a new place physically, emotionally, spiritually, in ever way and it’s been awesome.

Life is beautiful. I found my unicorn and have finally been able to ride it over the rainbow! I know it’s cheesey but I don’t care. I made it through the worst storms of my life and get to enjoy the sun and rainbows that follow. Life is amazing when you set yourself free!

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