Stories From Colorado

I went out to Colorado this past weekend to get away from Chicagoland and my family here. While I was in Colorado I was able to see all my extended family out there. It was really good to see everyone and spend time with relatives I’ve not see in, like, 10 years. I was only there for 2 full days so I had to pack in a lot in a little amount of time. It all happened except for a visit to the mountains. It’s ok though because I was staying with my aunt who lives at the foothills, which is pretty much like being in the mountains. That, but finally on Saturday I saw mountains. That was good enough. 

What would a trip of any kind be without some fun stories to come out of it? This is me we’re talking about, after all. So here are a couple of my stories that makes people say the oh so famous saying “Only you T! Only you!”

My aunt and I were going to go visit with my uncle and one of my cousin’s on Saturday evening. Well, my aunt decided to stay home. She gave me the reins to the mini van to go out on my own. No problem. Just give me the address and I’ll GPS my ass there. Now, mind you, I’m driving at night, in a very old mini van that I’ve never driven, on winding country roads with average speeds of about 55 mph, around mountains which means wildlife.  My ass started off only doing about 30 mph because I needed to adjust to everything. My body didn’t need time to aclimate to the altitude, it needed time to aclimate to the van and roads.

Anyway, I made it to my cousin’s house just fine. As I was leaving, I had to get my aunt’s address because I didn’t know what it was. I was planning on going straight there but decided to meet up with a friend of mine since we had met online but never met up in person. Duh, she lives in Colorado and I live in Illinois. So, I texted her telling her I had a quick minute to meet up (it was almost 10pm and I had to make sure I got some sleep because I was flying out the next day) if she wanted to. She gave me the address to a place she wanted to meet up at so I put it in the GPS and on my merry way I went. Well, this is where it gets interesting. My phone, which was my GPS, slid off my leg onto the floor as I’m driving. And I was getting close to my destination. I had no clue where I was going. I needed that GPS! It was right below me. Not quite under the seat but pretty damn close. So, I’m driving around a curve, reaching around to try and find my phone. This sounds similar to the time I crashed my truck. Anyway, I couldn’t quite reach it with my right hand so I started teaching around with my left. Leave it to my left hand to get it. Inside joke there. So, I got it but during my reaching around, I must have over stretched the muscles in my arm pits because they both hurt really fucking bad. They were burning and hurt. I have to drive with both pits in pain. Great. It finally went away after about 10 minutes but still, who the hell over extends their arm pits?! Seriously!? This shit really does only happen to me.

Now, my aunt has 4 Doberman pinchers. These dogs are usually pretty protective of their territory so when I was heading back to my aunt’s place, I started wondering how I was going to get in. She keeps 3 of the 4 crated at night in her room but leaves one out for protection. I think she needs new protection. I hear guns work well. I go to unlock the door and it’s quiet. No barking. No growling. Nothing. I thought maybe I got lucky and she put the dogs away so I could get in without having my face ripped off. I was wrong. Peyton was standing at the door, staring at me when I opened it. But instead of wanting to rip my face off, he was calm and if I was a burgler, was very welcoming. He just wanted me to give him some attention. I went into the basement and when I came back up, he was standing at the top of the stairs looking at me like “Play with me!!” I think the security alarm is broken aunt Vicki.

Anyway, these are the fun stories from my weekend getaway. It was a great time and as always, something funny had to happen. Life is always an adventure no matter where I go.

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