So, I’m a single lesbian. I am not one for going to bars or clubs to find a girlfriend so I do the whole online dating site thing. I’m also not looking to date but I like meeting new people and making new friends. My life lacks lesbians friends anyway so the dating sites are a good choice. Well, maybe, maybe not. This is me and my life we’re talking about which means nothing is simple or non-eventful. It’s also lesbians we’re talking about and most of them, or at least the ones that find me, are completely crazy. They should come with a warning label. Don’t get me wrong, I know everyone has a little crazy in them and some baggage but these girls that find me, they are whack jobs. I mean, I know I have baggage but mine comes in a neatly packed, small backpack. These girls, they’re packed up in truck loads, not organized and shit just flying all over the place.
I had one girl a few months back who was just weird. After talking off and on for a few weeks, she’s asks me if she could borrow my dog. Like, seriously?! Yeah, here let me just hand over my dog to you. I don’t know you!!! My dog is all I have. She is not just a pen you can use then forget you borrowed it from someone and not return it. This is my dog, my family. Hell NO you can’t borrow my dog!!
Then there was a mom who kept sending me messages like we were already dating. Seriously?! Ummm we only talked for how many days and you are treating me like we’re already dating? Uh no! Sorry. You seem nice but nope. I already told you I don’t want a relationship. Next.
The most recent one sent me a message just a couple of days ago. Now, I’m a friendly person. I will talk to anyone. That’s my problem, I will talk to anyone and end up in situations like this. So, she sends me the typical “Hey how are you” message. I respond with the typical “I’m good. You?” message. I took my time responding and reading the messages. Within a few messages, this chick wants to know when we’re going to meet up. Uh hellooooooooooo! I know absolutely nothing about you other than how you are doing today. So, I let her know I was not going to meet up with someone I don’t know and just started talking to online. Do I have “DUMBASS” written on my forehead? Sheesh. Once again, I had to let her know I am not looking for a relationship. Apparently that is a good time to ask, on day 2 of us somewhat talking (more of me just barely answering a barrage of questions), “Will we ever meet up?” My mind is bitching and flipping out on her ass while my message, because I’m nice and respectful says “Not sure. I don’t know what’s going on in my life right now.” And today, I guess this chick hasn’t gotten a clue by now, sends me a message asking how my day is going. I, of course being nice again, wait about another hour to respond with two words, “It’s going.” Only to have an immediate response of “Been thinking about you today.” Ugh Seriously?! Can we get a clue? Keep those thoughts to yourself. I don’t want to know these things. I don’t want a relationship and you are acting like we are dating. Guess some people just don’t get it and I have to spell it all out for them.
Now, this is not to say I haven’t found some decent girls online. In fact, one of the girls I’ve met has become a really good friend of mine. I’ve met a few really sweet and seemingly sane girls who I talk to now and then but the ratio of good to crazy is about 1:5. I have been enjoying my single life and don’t want to be tied down to anyone or anything. On top of everything, being desperate like that, well, that makes me run for the hills to hide like mountain man.